These are real questions asked of park rangers from around the U.S.:

Grand Canyon National Park

Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator at the bottom. Where is it?
Is the mule train air conditioned?
So where are the presidents?

Everglades National Park

Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Mesa Verde National Park

Did people build this or did the Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
What did they worship in the kivas, their own made-up religion?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park

How much of the cave is under ground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
Does it ever rain in here?

Yosemite National Park

Where are the cages for the animals?
What time do you turn on the Yosemite Falls?
Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Denali National Park

What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mt. McKinley weigh?