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Favorite Quotes

Everybody comes across clever quotes here and there. I've collected some of my favorites on this page for your enjoyment:
Take each day and gather the rosebuds in it. (from the 196? Broadway musical, "Subways Are For Sleeping")

God created a few perfect people. All the rest are right-handed.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

It's not a miracle. It's Windows 95. (From a Windows 95 demo)

Those who claim time is money are wrong. Time is life. (Chofetz Chaim)

Not only is your name the same spelled backwards, but if you spell it with all capital letters (AVIVA) it looks the same in the mirror. We physicists would say that it is invariant under parity. (Dr. Bruce McFarland)

If you have to live from hand to mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous. (Dolly Levi, in the 1969 movie "Hello Dolly!")

Ninety percent of the people in this world are fools, and the rest of us are in great danger of contamination. (Horace Vandergelder, in the 1969 movie "Hello Dolly!")

Be not fearful of sudden terror,
Or of destruction by the wicked that it may come.
They may take counsel together against us
But it shall be brought to naught;
Speak a work against us, but it shall not stand,
For with us is G-d, (who has said),
To your old age I, G-d, am He,
And to hoary age I shall bear you on;
I have made you and I shall sustain you,
Yea, I shall bear you on and I shall deliver you.
(Shabbos morning tefillah)

The morning after always does look grim if you happen to be wearing last night's dress. (Grand Duchess Swana, in the 1939 movie "Ninotchka")

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. (Frank A. Clark)

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. (Groucho Marx, in his autobiography "Groucho and Me")

No; the office is one thing, and private life is another. When I go into the office, I leave the castle behind me, and when I come into the castle, I leave the office behind me. If it's not in any way disagreeable to you, you'll oblige me by doing the same. (Wemmick, in "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens)

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. (Stuart Smalley, "Saturday Night Live")

Oh, dear me; some more of those plural personalities. (Horace Hardwick, played by Edward Everett Horton, in the 1935 movie "Top Hat")

They're duplicates I tell you-- duplicates. (Otis B. Driftwood, played by Groucho Marx, in the 1935 movie "A Night at the Opera") My dad was reading an article on state taxation of Internet transactions. Here's how the authors explained the growth of computers:
Consider a $1,000 automobile of the 1950s that could travel 50 miles per hour carrying two people, and imagine that automobile speed, capacity, and cost changed at the same rates as computer processing rates, DRAM capacity, and microcomputer cost, respectively. After 40 years, this car would travel at speeds of 8.2 million miles per hour, carry 785 million passengers, and 16 of these wonder cars could be bought for a penny!

We have every confidence that if there is no decline, the market will go higher. ("A-B-C" song, from the 1967 Broadway musical "How Now, Dow Jones")

The career engineer would have settled for living happily ever after, but there were integrated product teams ready to be differentiated and eigenvalues to be found for the matrix management structure. (Norbert Chan, IEEE's "The Institute", June 1998 issue)

A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

The country couldn't afford the agony of a Constitutional crisis - and I damn well will not be a party to one just to become President or anything else. (Richard Nixon, on why he refused to contest the results of the extremely close 1960 presidential election)

It's easier to keep the stable clean when there's not a horse in it. (cashier in Los Angeles Airport newsstand, on marriage)

Engineers build for the future, not merely for the needs of men but for their dreams as well. Thus, inherently, the engineer's work is a fearless optimism that life will go forward, and that the future is worth working for. (Dwight Eisenhower, "American Engineer" magazine, December 1951)

Once I took a survey: "Which is worse, ignorance or apathy?" Answer: I don't know and I don't care. (Rabbi Yehuda Ferris, Berkeley, CA)

We are here to make life fun, not to annoy people, so we do NOT sell or disclose your details or anyone else's details to any third parties. (Best privacy policy statement I've seen yet, at www.birthdayalarm.com)

Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter. (Satchel Paige, baseball hall-of-famer)

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles. (Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food)

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. (George Burns)

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like "Psychic Wins Lottery"? (Jay Leno)

Tis easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows along like a song;
But the man worthwhile is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong. (Ella Wheeler Wilcox, American Writer)

avivA Starkman / Los Angeles, CA / e-mail me
Last updated: May 7, 2010